*Sponsored Blog by My Informed BirthA birth partner can be anyone, your other-half, your sibling, parent, or friend. And you don’t have to have just one! Maybe a professional birth partner (a doula) might be a really good fit for you, either way the choice is yours, and someone you trust is key.
1. They’re important!
Gone are the days that partners were ushered out of the birth room! Partners WANT to be involved, but also the role is incredibly important to your experience and you and your babies health too. In fact, having continuous support during labour and birth is shown to improve outcomes for both birther and baby (Cochrane, 2017). So don’t underestimate the role of birth partner, because there is SO much more to it than what’s shown on TV and films!
2.
Know the birth plan and bag.Knowing the practical aspects of what birth preferences you have is one of the main roles of the birth partner. Giving birth is so primal, and relies on you being able to stay calm, concentrating on simply letting your body birth your baby. In that case, there’s no way you’d want interrupting breathing and relaxing with directing your birth partner to the snacks, flannel or essential oils. Equally, sometimes you might need that support to keep on track when you’re finding yourself low on energy and you need someone to suggest different relief methods, like massage or a bath or shower.
3. Being assertive is okay.
Birth partners are excellent advocates, and that’s because they usually know the birthing person and their preferences very well. The main thing about advocating for someone, is that you know how important their wishes and goals are to them. Sometimes the birth partner may need to be assertive, and that’s okay. If you find something hasn’t been explained very well, maybe there are too many people in the room, maybe there’s talk of an intervention you really aren’t keen on. Your birth partner can be involved in the discussion, take charge of the space and ask for further explanation so YOU have all the information you need to consent.
4. Protector of the bubble and the environment.
Being a birth partner is such an instinctive role. While you have the task of giving birth, it’s the partner’s role to protect that space. So that means ensuring your bubble isn’t disturbed so you can rest and breathe, stay comfortable and keep that positive mindset going. This also means protecting the space around you, making sure you’re not observed or disturbed too much and being aware of people talking too loudly which has the potential to really put you off.
5.
Physical and Emotional support.As you may know, birth is SO hormonal. The whole thing depends on the love hormone, oxytocin, and a major part of the birth partners’ job here is to keep the oxytocin going. So the space needs to have a really safe, loving feel to it with lots of positive, encouraging words. Physical support can be really important if you’re finding it difficult to move around or perhaps you have a disability. Someone who knows you and what makes you comfortable, giving you a massage, taking the pressure off your bump or applying a bit of counter-pressure (see spinningbabies.com) can make such a difference to your comfort.
6. What the birther says, goes.
Yes! You’re aloud to be ‘fussy’, it’s all about what YOU want when you’re giving birth, and changing your mind about things is absolutely fine. So any birth partner should be prepared for ‘yes I want that, no I don’t want that, hang on bring it back please’ and possibly a ‘shhhh’ every now and then!
7. Birth Partners experience trauma too.
Birth trauma is real, and the reaction to this can be different for everyone. In some cases, trauma can lead to further anxiety and / or postnatal depression, which can be experienced by both parents. It’s easy to skirt over this when you’re busy with a new baby, but if it’s addressed and help is sought early it can lead to quicker recovery times. Hopefully then, you could both get back some of that time to really enjoy your lovely family together. (See pandasfoundation.org.uk, mind.org.uk, birthtraumaassociation.org.uk and makebirthbetter.org for further help or information.)
8. This is a huge opportunity, and it might just be one of the best moments of your life.
Birth is a truly incredible thing; watching a brand new, tiny human emerge into the world, taking their first breaths – being part of that can be mind-blowing! It’s also those first moments as parents / carers that can be super daunting, but feeling that support and love in the room can give the both of you a real confidence boost into your new role and new life as a family.
For inclusive, practical, no-fluff antenatal preparation for any type of birth, contact Katie at hello@myinformedbirth.com. I offer group and private courses, in-person and online. Follow me @informedbirth for more birthy chat, and why not give my course a go by booking onto one of my FREE taster sessions- dates available on my website myinformedbirth.com.
I have group courses running at the Welcome In, Cookridge (next one is May), as well as relaxation sessions at The Den, Headingley. I also have availability for private clients from April. Check out the details on my website, or feel free to get in touch by email or DM.
