**This is a sponsored blog post from Consilia Legal**
In partnership with Mumbler, we are reaching out to local parents to provide support with any family law queries you may have. If you have something that’s weighing on your mind or would like some general advice, Sarah at Consilia Legal is here to help. You can contact her at any time at s.manning@consilialegal.co.uk. Any questions you have will always be dealt with in the strictest of confidence.
Dear Sarah,
My husband and I have recently decided to separate. It’s amicable at the moment, we’ve just fallen out of love with one another, but I feel like I need to move on and would really prefer to start divorce proceedings as soon as possible. We’ve agreed we’ll share custody of the children as long we can find the right balance. I don’t want a lengthy court battle and I’m keen to keep it civil between us for the sake of the kids, but I’ve read somewhere that unless you wait 2 years, you have to say it was someone’s fault in the divorce papers and I’m worried this will cause arguments between us. Please can you provide me with some advice.
Thanks
Rachel
Dear Rachel
Thank you for getting in touch with me, I’m very sorry to hear that your marriage has come to an end. I understand this must be a very difficult time for you.
In answer to your question about separation and divorce – what you’ve heard is partially correct. The law is very archaic in relation to divorce proceedings and it is not possible to start divorce proceedings based on a ‘no fault’ or ‘we’ve fallen out of love’ marriage.
There is only ever one ground for divorce, which is that your marriage has ‘irretrievably’ broken down. In order to establish that breakdown, the law requires you to be able to prove one of five facts, which are either that:
In your particular case, based on the fact that you and your husband have not been separated for two years or more, I’m afraid the only possible facts which apply to you are to issue on the grounds of adultery or unreasonable behaviour. Which I appreciate can feel uncomfortable when you are trying to keep things amicable.
A lot of times, after speaking to clients we agree to sight unreasonable behaviour so that they don’t have to wait 2 years or more. Unreasonable behaviour can include, not helping with house work, sleeping in separate rooms, not socialising together, nothing in common, not helping with the children etc. It doesn’t necessarily have to feel like a position of ‘blame’ on one party or the other. However before you make a decision to go down this route, we’d recommend you talk it through with your husband first. Whilst you may be on amicable terms at the moment, introducing the term ‘unreasonable behaviour’ in to the discussion can stir up strong feelings and it’s important to be aware of this.
In terms of the cost of a divorce, there is little or no difference, whether you chose to proceed now, or wait two years. Whilst waiting two years means that you can get divorced without having to use a fault based fact such as behaviour, the process is the same and the paperwork that would need to be prepared by a solicitor on your behalf is no less time consuming. This means it’s likely, as is the case with my practice, that the solicitors fees would be the same. The Court fee is also the same, although the court do tend to increase the fee every few years.
At Consilia Legal we charge a fixed fee for uncontested divorce proceedings which starts at £750 plus VAT if both parties are living in England. The local family court also charges a fee in order to start divorce proceedings which is currently £550.
In your letter you also talk about finding the right balance in terms of custody of your children. It is important to be aware that the process of divorce simply brings your marriage to a legal end. It does not automatically resolve issues concerning the care of any minor dependent children and/or financial issues associated with your relationship break down.
In relation to children matters such as this, the terms ‘custody’ and ‘residence’ are not used anymore. It’s the intention of the Court to move away from ‘custody battles’ and encourage parents like yourselves to communicate and negotiate child arrangements as closely and as amicably as possible – where both parents have parental responsibility, neither parent has more control than the other.
The court is also placing a lot more emphasis on mediation now, with a view that if you have used a mediator to work through arrangements, it will make the process a lot easier on all parties involved.
A mediator would be able to sit down with you and your husband and have discussions about the children and try to come up with a fair and workable arrangement that you can both agree on. Mediation doesn’t work in all situations but if you find discussing children matters is causing too much tension and you want to keep things as amicable as possible it can help to use an impartial mediator (such as myself) who is qualified to guide you through the process.
I hope that helps clarify matters for you. If you would like to speak to me further about your situation, please do get in touch and I will arrange an appointment for us at my offices in Leeds City Centre.
Best wishes,
Sarah Manning
Solicitor Mediator
Consilia Legal
*Please note that the responses are legal information only as opposed to legal advice from Consilia legal.
